Yea....I know.

I know.  I know that I should never speak to him again.  Everytime we stop talking I have two fears.  The first is that he will never speak to me again.  The second is that he will speak to me again.  He doesn't love me.  Does not.  He is using me.  He will not even call me baby or tell me he loves me or that he misses me.  He tells me things like...well things I can't say without sounding like I am from the planet of the slut people.  Sex.  Thats what he wants.  I want him.  Oh, and did I mention that my husband still doesn't know if he wants me.  Who can blame him.  I think he is ready to move on without me. 

Dumped...Again...Again.

My husband wants me to move out.  Who can blame him?  I have been carrying on an affair off and on and off and on for the last 11 months.  And yes I counted every month...and yes it was actually more like 10 1/4 months.  I am scared.  I am getting what I deserve.  I miss my bf.  I miss him terribly.  I still cannot believe that he spent time with me outside of a hotel room and then decieded that he did not want me.  But it did take him half of the six hour ride back to GA to decide that.  I cant imagine life without my husband.  He has been my best friend forever.  But then why can't I stop thinking about him?

Dumped.....Again.

Is it considered dumped if you were both married?  Yep.  Both married.  I have spent the last year having an affair with a married man.  I put this fool on a pedastal.  Yep.  I suck.